Blue fear
by lecchan
Summary: What young Riza feared were those blue lights that shone incessantly from her father's study's window. Pre-series. Slightly royai.


**A/ N: **Rated T because of a somewhat complex language I don't think a 9 year old would be able to grasp completely XD. Spoilers for everything related to Riza's early life.

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><p>Riza gazed at the dark kitchen in front of her with blank eyes. The curtains were drawn in the dusty living room, obscuring the Hawkeye household in a way one couldn't tell it was afternoon from the inside (her father had gathered all the candles they had, so it was too dark for her to do something like reading). No sounds were heard besides the occasional droplets of water escaping from one of the drips in the ceiling and hitting the wooden floor in that same kitchen. Those were all components that characterized how <em>dead<em> that house was.

That was until she heard the first crack of an alchemic reaction coming from the second floor, just above her head. The sound was like an unwanted life invading the cold peace of the house. As if she was following an usual procedure, Riza instantly got up an placed her cup of tea in the sink quietly, not washing it like she always did.

The blonde walked to the door with no hesitation on her feet. She opened it only to be greeted by the loud rumble of thunder and the blinding flash of lightning. The rain was also heavy and strong to a point it would bring a person to their knees, but Riza didn't falter, she doubled her speed after hearing a second crack coming from her father's study.

She quickly made her way to the old oak tree in the backyard, and sat under it's strong but naked branches in a futile attempt of seeking protection. Riza knew that tree wouldn't help her in any way, but she liked to think of it as a fine companion in times like these. Some years ago, she used to run to her mother's grave, but after a while she noticed the cold marble of the gravestone didn't comfort her at all. Her mother was dead, and Riza decided she preferred pretending to be consoled by a living plant than a dead stone.

The blue light was flashing non-stop now from the window of her father's study. Riza stole a glance at it every thirty seconds, but averted her eyes as soon as they met the unnaturally illuminated window. Berthold and his apprentice were practicing alchemy now. Riza couldn't help but miss the times when Mr. Mustang would only read those innocent books full of complex symbols he showed her every now and then. .

Riza hugged her knees in an attempt to become more comfortable under the angry rain. She didn't fear it, the water coming from the sky. At her small school, she learned how it was formed and how it was important to the world. She also didn't fear the thunder and the lightning, but she was downright _terrified_ by the smaller twins of the last one, born from transmutation circles. For her, they were blue snakes moving unpredictably and ready to bite. They had already poisoned her father, and she wondered how long they would take to do the same with Mr. Mustang.

Not many minutes had passed, but Riza was already soaked like she had just plunged into a pool. Her short blond hair clung to the back of her neck and to her forehead. Her red dress was heavy because of the water it had absorbed and he thin jacket she was wearing had become transparent and was doing the opposite it was created to do, but the girl didn't move despite everything. She just waited for her father to finish today's lesson. Once, she had thought of telling the older Hawkeye that she was afraid of alchemy, but discarded the idea when she noticed the practice lessons were taking place in the morning while she was at school. For some reason, they started in this dark afternoon, but it wasn't like she was going to question her father about it. She never challenged him.

She noticed her body had started shivering constantly. Without chuckling or smiling with sarcasm, Riza made a mental note of how pathetic she should be looking. She didn't care, of course. She was already marked for the whole village as some kind of cursed girl for being daughter of the secluded Berthold Hawkeye. She never expected help from that dirty people. Maybe the rain would help her by pushing them even farther away from her life.

Riza's thoughts clouded the reality while an indefinite portion of time went by. Looking at the dark gray clouds above her, she remembered she liked the rain because it helped muffling the sounds of the cursed alchemy taking place in that place she called her home. She had no problems with alchemy itself, but she didn't like being around it. She wasn't going inside that deceased mansion until the noises were gone, she didn't want the blue sparkles near her. She didn't want to be consumed by alchemy like her father. She didn't want to see that damned magic that took everything from her ever again.

"RIZA!"

The blonde's head shot up after hearing her name. The motion felt strange because the cold had numbed her muscles completely. She got up wondering if she actually fell asleep, and walked to the back door where a black haired boy screamed for her. There was mud on her clothes and legs, and her feet sank slightly into the ground while she walked to him. He disappeared from her sight for a moment- or maybe not, since the heavy rain still fell hard, blinding her for a second - and then reappeared with a towel in his hands, impatiently waiting for her.

"My God, Riza, what were you doing out there? Are you insane?", Roy yelled at her, slipping in his speech the name of the God he did not believe in. He shut the door closed behind her, the rather jarring sound mixing with the rushed and loud tip-taps of the rain and the droplets that fell from Riza's own body, clothes and hair. They ignored it, and he rushed her inside. Touching her exposed wrist, he noticed her skin was ice cold and her face was as white as the porcelain plates she used to wash everyday.

"God, how long were you out there?", he said the name again as he sometimes does when he's next to her. She wonders if it's only with her and why, maybe it also happened when he was with other girls, but she quickly made these thoughts go away because she, for some reason, couldn't stand them.

She found herself unable to answer the question he made because she really didn't know, and Roy feared she had endured the rain for the whole forty five minutes while he practiced. "Riza!"

"It's all right, Mr. Mustang". She was shaking, and that answer was useless to him.

"All right? You couldn't have killed yourself there!", he wrapped the towel around her, but he saw it wasn't enough, her drenched clothes left a trail of water from the door to the fire place where he half dragged her. He lit it the fastest he could with a convenient pocket lighter and managed to create a small fire that was at enough to warm Riza's small form.

"But I'm okay, Mr. Mustang. I'm just cold, that's all".

"Why do you keep lying?", his question was direct and the words caught Riza's completely off guard, making her eyes widen in surprise. She said the first thing that came to her mouth, unable to think under Roy's dark gaze.

"I'm not lying. You don't have to be so concerned about me, Mr. Mustang", she calls him with respect to create some space between them, to push him away. She doesn't understand why he's so interested, and before she knows, she's more nervous than she had ever been before in her life. If she wasn't dripping wet, one could believe she was sweating.

He heard her weak excuse, and got up immediately. It hurt him to look at her attempts to dodge his questions, and he cursed the world for the fact such a young girl had to use so many masks in order to protect herself. "You should take those clothes off. I'll be right back".

Riza hesitated, but did as she was told and in an instant she had her 13 year old body naked by the fire place, hugging the wet towel tightly to her exposed skin. Roy soon was back with another towel, a thick blanket and one of Riza's nightshirts.

"Here", Roy gave her the clothing and turned around in order to give her some privacy. Riza put her nightshirt as fast as she could, almost tripping for she felt a little dizzy with the sudden movement. When ready, she gave him a signal. He walked closer to her and sat beside her just after putting the blanket around her. Roy discarded the wet towel she used before and proceeded to dry Riza's wet hair with the new one.

He worked on her recovery there on the living room floor, surrounded only by the old furniture, dust and the ghosts of that old house. He knew no one would show up because no one ever did. Her father never left the second story and people were scared to come near the house for some reason he still had trouble to compreheend. Roy looked at the back of Riza's head and his eyes softened.

"Don't ever do it again", he said gently after a while, but with a commanding tone beneath it. She didn't know if he meant the rain or the lies, probably both. She still couldn't see how this boy, so strange and familiar to her would care. Riza only knew it felt nice.

"I'm sorry", she whispered and for a second Roy though it was only a noise created by the rubbing of her blond strands and the towel. When he noticed it was her apologizing, his chest ached.

The older boy said nothing. The reasons why Riza did what she had done were still a blur for him, but he knew she was out there for more than just wanting to run away or to catch a nasty hypothermia. He already knew her masks and he could read them, but couldn't still quite _understand._ He knows she isn't okay, and it's hard for him to accept that someone as rational as Riza Hawkeye would stay out in the rain for a nearly suicidal period of time. The only thing he thought he could do was to give her some sort of comfort. He wondered whether it was appropriate or not, but managed to turn Riza around by the shoulders and give her some kind of hug.

Riza was speechless once again, her thoughts were messy and her breathing stopped for a moment, but her brown eyes irradiated only desperation by the time Roy let go. Her feelings were completely exposed, and for some reason, she couldn't draw them back in front of Roy anymore.

"I'll make you some tea, so stay here and warm up", he said with a smile in order to ease her and reassure her that he won't leave. He already knew her favorite tea, her favorite everything in that crumbling old house. She didn't want him to go, but nodded shyly nevertheless. Unfortunately, he didn't see it because he was already walking to the kitchen.

While Riza looked at Roy's retreating form, she remembered there was little time before he went back to his alchemy lessons, and she thought of begging him not to go back upstairs again, and her heart shrank in fear of the blue lights. Alchemy had destroyed everything Riza cared of until now, and the thought that it may steal this boy's soul as well, her dad being the living proof of the possibilities, made her heart twist in pain, but when Roy came back with the warm drinks, she surprisingly forgot all of her worries and her mind rested while he told her in a light mood numbers of things to do indoors while it rained because he didn't like the rain.

She almost smiled for the first time in a long time when he said he was going to give her an umbrella.

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><p><strong>A N: **First of all, I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL TO MY BELOVED RAH-CHAN FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS *-*. THANK YOUUU THANK YOOOUU~ *_*

~This story is just something I decided to write in order to consolidate my thoughts on Riza and Roy's relationship during Roy's apprenticeship in the Hawkeye household. I read a lot about them falling in love at this early age and everything, but I take Riza's childhood and early teenage years as a very very dark period of her life. I also imagine her and Roy were very distant back then, save these small moments that make Riza very dependent of Roy's presence and Roy protective of her. Really, I think their love is only cemented when Roy founds out about Riza's tattoo.

I hope you guys liked. I think the ending sucked D: (the story ended up as royai. it wasn't what I intended, but oh well OTL)

Reviews make me very happy, thank you *-*


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